The most sacred thing in the world is a memory. Can I tell you a story? It's like a memory. Memories are the most precious things a person can have. Memories are bitter-sweet, they can make you laugh, make you cry, make you mad, make you joyful--most importantly, they tend to embarrass you. Home videos, photos, special places, certain people... all these things can bring to a person bitter-sweet memories. The only thing a person has to do, is remember. Remember these bitter-sweet memories and laugh about it, cry about it, get mad about it, become joyful thinking of it. One person can become embarrass for the simplest memory in the world. To reminiscence, to remember, to recall, is the most precious talent ever given to mankind.
These words were never known by young Kiyo Okata, who started his third-year of junior high in 2006. He did not have bitter-sweet memories to remember. It wasn't that he was coldhearted. It wasn't that he was distant. It wasn't that he was anti-social. It wasn't that he didn't know how to love. Actually, Kiyo was a very popular and sociable boy. He was friends with everyone he met. He was intelligent, athletic, responsible, respectful... All in all he was a cool guy. However, he did not have a memory he would remember and laugh, cry, get mad, feel joy, or reminiscence about. At the end of the day when he laid in bed, Kiyo knew that everything was all an illusion and his world was silent. There was no one that stayed beside him, no one that would care; no one that made memories with him. There was no happiness or joy in his world, just the moment he spent and the feeling of living that moment--but no memory to recall and reminiscence.
One day he walked out into the streets. Instantly a car sped by and crashed into him. Kiyo was in coma for nearly a year, it was the end of summer when he'd been sent to the Emergency Room and found in coma. His family eventually stopped visiting. His younger brother Hiroki, younger by a grade, stopped visiting after months that Kiyo did not wake. His parents barely visited, and eventually never came at all unless the doctor called. His friends never visited, they lost contact immediately when he was reported to be in coma. Kiyo became behind his school work because of his comatose condition. Everything he had began to slowly drifted away from him.
Kiyo opened his eyes one day, and found himself in a cold white hospital room at the beginning of winter. The golden afternoon sun that shined through his window blazed into his eyes that had not seen light for over a year. Sitting up Kiyo could not understand why he was in a hospital room. Observing, he found that he was also alone. No evidence that someone stayed by his side and watched over him. Kiyo couldn't understand a thing. Why was he in a hospital room, what he was doing there, why his head hurt, what had happened to him and how? In his head-pain, for some reason and just knowing he should click the red button he saw, Kiyo did. Moments later a nurse burst into the room to find that Kiyo had awoken.
"You hear? The cute coma kid in 357 woke up."
"He's been in coma for a year right?"
"I heard his parents were deciding to pull the plug..."
"It's great you woke up in time, Kiyo. Your parents were here a few days ago deciding whether or not to take you off life support, see if you would wake up or not."
"Hm? Where are they? I heard they were going on a trip to America. They said they'll make a decision when they come back next week. We're trying to contact them, but no luck. We should wait for them to return."
"Can you remember anything? Anything at all? Your birthday, you name, how old you are... were. Can you do the math?"
"Remember... what?"
"It seems you still have the things you learn in your head. It's just you don't recall how your learned them."
Voices slowly seeped into his mind. The voices became louder and more rapid, spinning around in his head. It had been a week since he was home, when his family had returned from their trip. He'd awoken two weeks ago. Kiyo met his busy corporate boss of a father and his busy magazine manager of a mother. His brother Hiroki was cold and distant to him, as though he despised Kiyo. Then there was also Mr. Wayne the half-Chinese butler. Everything that Kiyo knew about his old self came from a piece of paper. He couldn't recall anything about himself or any of his memories at all. His name, Kiyo Okata, his age and birthday, his blood type, his junior high school, his grades and activities were all on a piece of paper. One sheet of paper told him about his life. Everything was so stressful, just thinking about his memories and all made the voices in his head move even faster. It all frustrated him.
Kiyo changed clothing into what he was told was his favorite shirt during winter, slipping on his favorite jacket next. He walked out in the dark blue jeans he supposedly bought a week before his accident and never wore. Kiyo walked to the basketball court he was told by Mr. Wayne that he always went to play at with his friends. No memories, no sparks. Nothing. Kiyo crossed the street, dodging cars as he crossed the street to the garden where he'd asked out his first girlfriend--that, Mr. Wayne also told him. No memories. No sparks. Nothing. All the places he visited and the pictures he'd seen of his friends, there were no memories, no sparks, no crackles, nothing. He couldn't remember a single thing.
Eventually, near tears, Kiyo ran through the streets recalling the directions to his old school that he was given. He arrived while school was letting out. He stood at the front gates of Kurasage Junior High School. Passing-by students stared at him and whispered. They recalled him, but Kiyo didn't hear them. Not over the voices spinning in his head, the same voices in his head moments ago. He ran up the slope and into the school grounds. He stared at his old school. No memories. No sparks. Nothing. Why couldn't he remember? Why had God taken away a year of his life only to wake him up into a world that he couldn't remember was his own?
Four boys greeted Kiyo, calling him their senior. They joked and playfully punched him around. They asked him how long it had been since he came out of coma. Kiyo didn't answer them. He started walking away as the boys called out to him. Kiyo burst into a run. He wanted to leave the world that he'd awoken to, that he couldn't remember. Kiyo ran and ran. There was no destination, only to leave what was supposed to be his world.
Stopping to catch his breath Kiyo sat himself on a nearby bench. His tears began to drip into the snow at his feet. He had no idea where in the world he was at, only that he wanted to leave his world. Only that he didn't even know his own world, so how was it that he could leave it? Or was it because he had left his world that he could not return? An alien to the very world he was born and raised, and forced to forget about it.
"Hey, kid," a voice called out to him. Being dragged back to life Kiyo looked up, it was a girl. Judging by her girl's uniform she came from his junior high. She immediately noticed his tears and cocked her head at him. She had her backpack swung up, clinging to her fingers. She held it as though it was a coat instead of a book bag. Her beautiful long black hair was let down and shined in the clouded sunlight of winter. "Please don't cry," the girl said to him, not in a sweet matter. It was as though she was scolding him. "I don't know what your problem is, kid, but don't cry here. This place is a special place where nothing should matter, so don't taint such an area with your sorrowful tears."
Kiyo raised up his hands and washed away his tears. Just then the girl cursed when she was called out. She responded to the English name Kurtis. She ran off laughing as a group of boys wearing Kurasage School's uniform chased after. The girl was laughing at the boys that chased her, provoking them to catch her as she ran off. The group didn't know how envious Kiyo was of them. To be able to freely laugh and smile, was it possible for him?
The place where nothing in the world should matter, and cannot be tainted with tears... Kiyo had not realized the voices in his head were drown out. What was left there? Something... Something was in his head. It was the beginning of some story... Whose story? Why was it that it suddenly came to him? Before Kiyo knew it, he was writing and his eyes rapidly progressing through the story as though it was alive or a TV show.
HSCCLUB.NET forum » Show The World!
Bitter-Sweet Memories-part 1
(6 posts)-
B.
Cinfirmed MembersPosted 3 years ago # -
Andy
Key MasterThis is a fun start to a story. I enjoyed it! ;D
There is wonderful feeling for the reader. A question. This seems like the real world, but something just isn't right. You wonder is it the world Kiyo inhabits or is there something different about Kiyo himself? It is a lot of fun to be taken on a journey through his eyes when ordinary things seem to take on a kind of novelty due to his condition. Then the strangest part is when this strange girl arrives (Kurtis) and tells him this is a space in which people are not allowed to cry. That really makes me wonder... What is up with that? :o
Then it's great how you quickly move on to simultaneously telling us about Kurtis's place among her pears and expressing Kiyo's sadness.There was no happiness or joy in his world, just the moment he spent and the feeling of living that moment--but no memory to recall and reminiscence.
That doesn?t sound too bad, kind of like he?s already achieved nirvana.
I think it would really add a sense of mystery and intrigue if you removed the third paragraph:One day he walked out into the streets?
Then worked the information from this paragraph into later conversation. This way the reader learns about the mysteries of Kiyo?s hospitalization at the same time he does. It will help keep the reader?s interest because they want to know what happens next.
Also if you do this don?t forget to change this sentence from the next paragraph:The golden afternoon sun that shined through his window blazed into his eyes that had not seen light for over a year.
Posted 3 years ago # -
yura.tsuki
Cinfirmed MembersThis is an interesting story. I like it.Posted 3 years ago # -
B.
Cinfirmed MembersThanks for all the comments (mostly by Andy, but whatever.)Posted 3 years ago # -
Ryvirus
Cinfirmed MembersI like it Konoha! ;D Very interesting indeed!Posted 3 years ago # -
B.
Cinfirmed Membersit was supposedly to turn into a love/comtemporary novel. But then the sparks suddenly disappeared on the idea... So I kept it as a memory thingy...Posted 2 years ago #
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